When each of us arrived home from Caliraya last Sunday, I’m almost certain, most, if not all, the Brothers were asked either one or both of these questions: 1) “Kamusta yung Retreat?” and 2) “Ano ang na pala mo?”

Glenn de Guzman

I answered the first in the best way I could – using “imagery”. I told Lalay – my wife: Imagine over 200 men – some not earlier predisposed to participate due to work problems, family concerns or plain personal anxieties suddenly come alive and become completely engrossed in a time of worship, literally shouting praises to the Lord, praying loudly in tongues, eyes closed and hands raised, singing songs of praise that echoed throughout the room in a single but booming baritone voice and bursts of tenor. Toby (Estrella) described it quite aptly as nothing less than a “majestic site”.

And I fully agree.  Why?  Simply because it was very powerful, so uplifting and unmistakably Spirit-filled.  These worship sessions – which I believe totaled at least six throughout the Retreat — best characterized the entire 2-day activity.

Kaya sa tanong: “Kamusta yung Men’s Retreat?” Simple lang ang sagot ko – powerful, uplifting and Spirit-filled.

After yun unang-unang prayer worship pa lang, napatingin ako sa katabi kong Brother and sabi niya: “Bro, ang lakas ng dating. Tinamaan yata ako.” Sabi ko: “Oo nga na halata ko. Tulo ng tulo ang luha mo.”  Sabi niya: “”ikaw nga, pasayaw sayaw ka pa.” Gusto ko sana sabihin sa kanya: “Hindi ako marunong sumayaw Bro. Na nginginig lang yun katawan ko.”  Pero, bakit pa?  For both him and I, we indeed felt the Lord’s presence and it was real enough to make his broken heart and my trembling body whole.

Ano ang na pala ko?  Quite frankly, much much more than I set out for.

Lalay and I have shared this a few times before to our men’s and women’s group.  We have 3 adult children: Nicole who is 30 years old, Chuck who is 28 and Miguel who is 27.  Back then, our concerns about how to raise them revolved around just a few simple and basic rules:  Study hard, don’t smoke, don’t drink alcohol and never ever take drugs.   I’m happy to say that to-date, these have been close to 100% complied with. The only blemish are those few beers my son Chuck takes occasionally as part of what he calls: “social drinking”.   And yet over the years despite the nearly full compliance, we’ve come to realize that these were not enough.

As parents, we were lacking towards assisting our children develop a much deeper, more personal and sustained relationship with God. Often I wondered, that if we started with this as end-in-view, perhaps Lalay and I could grow older more peacefully.

And so for the first group discussion starter when we were asked to explain why we decided to join the retreat, I candidly replied: Not for my sake but for my son Chuck. I wanted him to be touched by “community life” just like me. I found the Lord through Ligaya and I was hoping that someday he would too.

After having been afflicted with Parkinson’s disease since 2005, I have grown accustomed to my condition.  Although at times it can be disconcerting when during the entire Retreat, Brothers from other Districts — and whom I did not know — would offer their chairs for me to sit, allow me to stay ahead of them in the buffet line and offer to serve food on my plate.  I was even exempted from participating in the “sports fest”.  I struggled to believe that all these favors were out of the kindness of their hearts and not because of my condition.  

More so when we arrived at Caliraya that early Saturday morning.  Chuck and I were met by my good friend Emon Ilustre who ushered us to the boat ride enroute to the Resort Complex.  Emon quickly took my baggage and held my hand so I wouldn’t slip and fall in the lake.  Sabi ko kay Emon, “Bro, huwag mo ng gawin yan at kaya ko naman.” Sabi niya, “Okay lang yun, handicap ka eh.” Sabi ko, “Pare, that is a politically incorrect statement. Di ako handicap, I am disabled.” Ayaw pa rin ako bitawan. Pero nung dinagdagan ko na ng, “Baka magselos si Lois”, at tsaka na lang tumigil si Emon makipag holding hands sa akin.

Saturday evening as I lay in bed nursing a slight fever, it was Brothers whom I did not recognize that were checking out my condition, offering medicine and praying over me throughout the night.

Chuck and Sebastien

Two years ago I became a grandfather.  Chuck had his first-born son. He named him Sebastien. An hour after Sebastien was delivered, I texted Chuck the following message: “There exists a special bond between a father and his first-born son. Starting today you will begin to realize just how much I love you.”And true to this pronouncement, I found myself inconspicuously watching over my son throughout the Retreat. Wanting to see his progress. And guess what I saw? The familiar site of Brothers unknown to both him and I, either engaged in friendly but very sincere chat, breaking bread, sharing wine, praying over him, and exhorting him in the same gentle and loving way they would me. I thought the Brothers only behaved that way towards sick men. I was wrong. Only then did I really grasp the meaning of a “Ligaya Brother”.

Over the many years I have been with Ligaya I have come to learn that: They are the ones that keep you “fighting the good fight of faith” during times you are weary and prone to give up. They are the ones that keep you on the right path, help carry your burdens and share in alleviating your needs. They are the ones you draw strength from to persevere and draw inspiration from to continue bearing your cross. They are the ones that know you and understand you. They are the ones that protect you and defend you from unfair challenges, accusation and slander.

A Ligaya Brother does not care who you are or what you’ve been, what you have or how you look, what you lack or who you know. Unfortunately, you’ll have to attend the 2^nd North Sector Men’s Retreat just to find out for yourself what is a “Ligaya Brother”.

And so, ano nga ba ang na pala ko sa Retreat? Let me answer this second question by again using imagery. When we got home from the Retreat we were greeted enthusiastically by Sebastien who was then playing with his grandmother. Upon seeing Chuck, his brows suddenly raised, his eyes started to break into a wide open smile and his face lit up with joy — eager to embrace his father.  And as Chuck drew near to hug his son, the extreme tiredness which accumulated over the past 2 day and which was reflected in his brows, eyes and face suddenly changed and instead also mirrored that of his son.  It was then that I knew just exactly what I gained from the Retreat.

Love is indeed transforming. Thank you, Brothers, for your unconditional love.  Kapatiran niyo ang aking na pala.  With all of you around, my son Chuck — and even his son Sebastien — shall always be in good hands.  Maraming salamat uli.

Glenn de Guzman, NORTH A

I am 61 years old. I have been hypertensive since age 32. I inherited this from Mama. I had a heart attack in 1991. Papa had problems with his heart.

Dody Naguiat (Central C)

I am a compliant patient and religiously have check-ups and drink my meds. I am fairly fit, an outdoor type, played basketball, tennis, swam, played badminton. I managed my stress.

In 2004, my cardio-internist noted a marker for kidney problems; creatinine was creeping upward, protein traces in my urine. He said it was time to team up with a nephrologist.  On the urging of my former cardio-internist, he suggested in September of 2006, to go for a kidney transplant! I was young, quality of life would be better. Go for it, he said.  I was energized and full of hope.

Fast forward to December 7, 2006, I vomited at work. I was told to go to UST Emergency ASAP. My nephrologist is the Head of the UST Center for Kidney Disease.

Here my journey begins…

My journey begins

What follows are the affirmations, scriptural anchors that accompanied me on this journey.

1.        “Tell Dody, Jesus Loves Him!”

Fr. Herb heard about my confinement at UST.  He talked to Josie and gave that message. In my darkest moments, I recalled and replayed this truth. I soaked on this truth when even the desire to pray was absent.  Father Ignatius reminded me that the desire to desire to pray is already in itself a grace.

2.        “Thy will be done. Father, I put my life in your hands.”

From denial, I surrendered to the Father’s will.  It was a Saturday. Tony and Sarah Panajon visited me.  They drove all the way from Sta. Rosa to Espana to comfort me.  Tony laid hands on me. I was at peace.

I agreed to have an access to my carotid artery to start hemodialysis the following day.  Guess what, Sunday morning; Tony was there to make sure I would not back out from the procedure. We had a good laugh. 

I had my first experience with hemodialysis that Sunday evening in December of 2007.  This went on for eighteen months, three times a week for 4-hour sessions.   My final session before my kidney transplant was last August 1, the day Tita Cory passed to the Lord.

3.     “unless the grain of wheat falls to the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it   dies, it bears much fruit.” (Jn 12:24)            

This scripture passage is the leitmotiv of the Way of the Cross which Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger wrote upon the request of John Paul II the week before he died in the year 2005.

“In the Way of the Cross, we see a God who shares in human sufferings, a God who does not remain aloof and distant, but comes into our midst even enduring death on the Cross (cf. Phil 2:8).”

My experience of dialysis for eighteen months, and the inconveniences of a four-hour procedure three times a week brought forth the promise of a better day after being cleansed of toxic waste. I had to die, so I could bear fruit again if only until the next “cleansing”. Happily, I had the means and resources to go through the procedure, until I had my kidney transplant.

I rejoice.

I had plenty of opportunities to share in Christ’s sufferings and His Paschal mystery.

4.  “We boast in the hope of sharing the glory of God. And not only that, we boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces  endurance and endurance produces character and character produces hope and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured in our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us.” (Rm. 5:2-5)

I pray for the many graces that suffering has brought me. I fervently hope that I can be a better disciple and follower of our Lord according to our way of life and mission. So that in all things God may be glorified.

Everything is grace

5.  “Everything is grace. Everything is the direct effect of our Father’s love. Everything is grace because everything is God’s gift. Whatever be the character of life or its unexpected events—to the heart that loves, all is well.”   St. Therese of Lisieux                                                                        

- Dody Naguiat
September 10, 2009, 39^th Day post Kidney Transplant

RELATED LINK:  DODY NAGUIAT, 1947-2009

Tito Pete was born and raised in Mangatarem, Pangasinan. In 1948, his family moved to Manila and his father who was a public school principal in Pangasinan enrolled him at  the then Ateneo de Manila for his college education. The young Pete always wondered how his family could have afforded to send him to the Ateneo given that his father earned a meager income from his job. Raising his own family years later and having come to know God more deeply, Tito Pete discovered the answer: “God provides!”

He vividly recalls that on his very first day at the Ateneo, his Jesuit professor said, perhaps in a jocular manner, “If you want to be a successful businessman and get rich, go to La Salle. But if you want to change the world, you can stay at the Ateneo”. Being a young idealist from the province, he decided he wanted to “change the world”.

Surrounded and educated by Jesuits, he could so easily have been a man of the cloth but somehow, he couldn’t imagine being called Father Padre. In 1952 he graduated with a Bachelor in Literature degree, major in Journalism, cum laude and salutatorian of the class. On his last year in college, he was working as a regular full-time reporter for the Philippines Herald, a major national daily before Martial Law. Ten years later, due to hard work and sheer talent and skills, he held the top post in the editorial department as the news editor.

Pete and Rose Padre (South B)

Meanwhile, in 1960, he met, fell in love with and married a young teacher from Manila, Rosemarie Pasimio or Rose. Their marriage bore three children, 2 girls and a boy, now all grown-up and professionals themselves. Tito Pete and Tita Rose are also the proud grandparents of 16-year-old twin girls.

After 12 years in the newspaper business, Tito Pete decided he (not to mention Tita Rose) had had enough of the late nights. Worse, he found himself being subjected to pressures from the Herald’s powers-that-be who supported opposing political parties. Certain that that was not the life for him and his family, he wasted no time in resigning from the Herald and shifting to the world of corporate communications.

Moving up the so-called corporate ladder, Tito Pete enjoyed better compensation and  more generous fringe benefits. In Tita Rose’s words, “The Lord’s provision via Pete’s salary increased in proportion to our family needs as the children grew older”.

But as he started earning more money, Tito Pete developed a craving for more, and more, and still more. He began resenting those who seemed to be moving ahead faster than he. In retrospect, Tito Pete realizes this was when he started acting like the older son in the Parable of the Prodigal Son. He felt he had been a good person and was entitled to all that he was getting, and more. He complained to the Lord, “What about me? Is this what I get for being faithful to You all these years?”.   

Of that time, Tito Pete says, “It is during moments of crisis in faith like this, which comes often in our lives, that the Lord reaches out and touches every one of us – if we would only care to notice”. The Lord, indeed, reached out and touched him then. A friend persistently invited him to the breakfast meetings of a group of businessmen and professionals at the Makati Sports Club where they “talked about nothing else but the Lord and how He was working in their lives”. Resistant at first, Tito Pete thought it was not necessary for him to join another group when he and Tita Rose had been members of the Christian Family Movement since early in their marriage and they were active members of their parish.

In 1981, he finally agreed to go to a breakfast meeting of the Brotherhood of Christian Businessmen and Professionals (BCBP) and he never missed a meeting after that. He remembers being touched by the sharer, inspired by the songs and impressed with the important and powerful people in the business and professional world who openly proclaimed the kingship of God in their lives. Having been close to God all his life, his conversion was not a dramatic one attended by lightning and thunder but a “quiet moving from one level of relationship with the Lord to the next”..

A few months later, he and Tita Rose were invited to the Christian Life Program. It was during the CLP that Tito Pete began to see God as a personal God. After being baptized in the Holy Spirit, he and Tita Rose were given increasing responsibilities in the BCBP and they served in various capacities. They decided that they had “found our Pearl of Great Price so we gave up all our other activities which did not involve the Lord’s work”.

In 1984, Tito Pete and Tita Rose were invited to the Ang Ligaya ng Panginoon. Three years later, they made and accepted their covenant with Ligaya. But even as they joined Ligaya, they continued serving and being active members in the BCBP. They also felt called to serve in their parish, the Resurrection of Our Lord in BF Homes, Paranaque, where they are now the head of the Education, Formation and Communication commission and members of the Parish Pastoral Council Execom.

Tito Pete recalls that during their early years in Ligaya, the entire community met every Sunday at the Immaculate Conception Academy (ICA) Gymnasium in Greenhills. The assembly started with Mass at 3 p.m. presided over by Fr. Herb Schneider, S.J., followed by worship. To instill discipline and to train the members in honoring and respecting others’ time, the main door would be closed at exactly 3 p.m. Arriving on time was then imperative unless one wanted to sneak in through one of the side doors.

Foundation talks were also given on Sundays, 1 to 3 p.m. just before the Mass. Tito Pete, who values his siestas, initially found it challenging to stay awake during these talks. But by God’s grace, he learned to cope and he and Tita Rose went on to complete all the talks without any absence.

In due course, Tito Pete and Tita Rose settled down to a quiet life of growing with and in the Lord “the Ligaya way”. Tito Pete acknowledges that Ligaya is not the only way one can grow in his relationship with God. They served as Pastoral Leaders and then as Service Heads of the Tahanan ng Panginoon Outreach in Clinicville, BF Paranaque.

The Joy of Being with Ligaya

One time, Tito Pete and Tita Rose met their Jesuit chaplain during their Christian Family Movement days and when he asked them what they were busy with they replied that they were with Ligaya “undergoing formation”. The priest was incredulous and told them, “Formation? You are already formed! Go out into the world where you belong!”. Taking the challenge to heart, Tito Pete and Tita Rose gradually returned to their first love – service in their parish, while remaining faithful members of Ligaya, which to them “is and will always be our home”.

In 2000, Tito Pete suffered a stroke. Rather than reject and be anxious about what happened, he totally embraced it as God’s answer to his self-seeking questions aboutwhether or not his being faithful to God was only because He had always been good to him and because He had not put him to the test. Confident that God is sovereign, he completely resigned himself to the Lord’s Will and was “thankful that he was allowed to share in the Lord’s passion and suffering on the Cross, even if only in a very insignificant way”. After about a year of slow yet steady recovery, Tito Pete was able to resume his normal activities and even travelled with Tita Rose to the U.S. 

"Rose has been my north star," Pete Padre.

Tito Pete looks back and says that his life has been an uneventful yet happy, fruitful, rewarding, and fulfilling one. He feels that he has not experienced very significant highs and lows. He claims that Tita Rose, who has always been very religious and spiritual, has given him the greatest sense of meaning and purpose in his life. She has been his North Star, the one who has been “keeping me on a straight course, safeguarding my principles and values from corruption by the world and being the firm anchor in my spiritual llife”. She together with their children and grandchildren give Tito Pete the greatest joy in life.

God uses certain occasions, times of great and significant decision-making, to chart a person’s life direction. Tito Pete sees 2 major crossroads in his life that set his life in a definite direction and that shaped everything that he became and turned out to be. First was when he obtained his college education at the Ateneo which helped determine his career path. And second was his marriage to Tita Rose which has been the greatest source of joy and purpose of his life.

The best truth that God has shown him about Himself is that He is a loving Father who  always gives what is best for His children. Tito Pete realizes that death is inevitable for everyone and far from the evil that it is often associated with, he sees it as a “going home”, something necessary to take us to the Father. Speaking from the vantage point of a 76-year old, he has discovered that in the end, what matters most to him is his family and that having too much money, more than what is needed to have some degree of financial independence and the peace of mind that it brings, is really not necessary to be happy.

Asked what he can advise younger people about living a happy and meaningful life, Tito Pete urges, “Find your North Star and always be guided by it; always have an eternal perspective in everything you do”.  

- Written by Ging Non (Central E)  for NOW Ministry