Few days before the Covenant Candidates Retreat, I needed to talk to my Pastoral Leader as I was not so certain about accepting the covenant this year. Knowing how serious what I was getting into, I found myself torn between taking the covenant and pursuing my desire to work abroad (to receive further training on what we call risk-based audit and to save up as well). That time, it was just a desire. Upon the advice of my PL, I attended the retreat and started praying about it.

During the retreat, the Lord asked me to look back in my life as an underway member of Ligaya. In my first few years, I found myself in a constant struggle to be faithful and committed.   I went in and out of the Community but I knew that the Lord was blessing my every decision to return. Through the Lord’s grace, I slowly grew in maturity especially in my relationship with the Lord. I grew in my appreciation of the community as I would sometimes take on various services; celebrate Lord’s Day with Ligaya families, etc. I gradually saw the wisdom of our way of life (one is the area of giving tithes).

"Me heart beats for the Lord." - Marvin Barbara

In my unworthiness, I cried before the Lord when the speaker made us realize that the covenant is a gift from the Lord and that He is the one who initiated it. But the Lord comforted me saying that with His gift comes the grace to be worthy of the life He has called me to live.

In my last reflection during the retreat, the Lord asked for my heart saying that if He owns my heart, I belong to Him wherever I go. He further said that He would bring me to a place where I can still experience community life and receive support from brothers and sisters. I took it to mean that I was not yet taking the covenant this year and that He was blessing my desire to work abroad for a few years. After much discernment, I told my PL about it.

Few days before the Feast of the Covenant, our district coordinator, through my PL, gave me another perspective saying that if my heart is really for Ligaya and that there’s no work opportunity abroad yet, I might want to reconsider my decision. Knowing in my heart that the Lord is really calling me to Ligaya and that my heart beats for him and Ligaya, I gladly decided to take the covenant this year and not postpone it.

If not for my decision to work abroad, taking the covenant would have been very easy. I would not be who I am now as a person and God’s disciple if not for the teachings and sometimes correction I received from the brothers and sisters. The people whom I have significant relationship with are in the community. I draw inspiration from the brothers and sisters who have been in the community for many years but still persevere in the Lord.

I would like to believe that it’s easier now to live out our way of life; I just have to continue what I have been doing. However, I also know that as with other journey, there will be obstacles along the way. There is no assurance from the Lord of a peaceful life ahead. For this reason, I entrust myself to the Lord of the covenant. The God who gave me this gift is the same God who will grant me the grace to be faithful.

- Marvin Barbara, North Sector